Soapy Titties

Where golf friends share

Caddies: Cody

I’d NEVER played with a caddie before. The boys talked about it and i thought ‘yeah, whatever big shots’.  But after several terrible rounds i figured it couldn’t make me any worse, and so i put in a request for a man to carry my bags and tell me what i was doing wrong.

And then Cody turned up.

When i say he turned up, it was a bit of a surprise, he wasn’t there on the first tee, or the second. I was starting to think that the caddies had been talking about me like some sort of disease and that they were forgoing their fee to not spend the day with such a hack, but then, on the 3rd fairway, through the trees of Bandon Trails, out waddled Cody.

I’m pretty sure that young Cody had been sitting around in Caddy corner for 3 months being slapped in the face by the other caddies’ dicks in a caddy hazing ritual, and when they told him that he got a legitimate call-up he was half asleep in some sort of self-induced haze of denial. Somehow he snapped out of it and rocked up, late, but better late than never, Cody was a real champ and a great sport. 

Vital statistics:

Approx Height: 5,7″

Approx Weight: 189lbs

Approx Age: 24

Demeanor: Complimentary. Happy to be out there if you’re not a dick. Jovial, with that slightly bigger guy nonchalant-style. 

Around the course: Honest advice. Won’t talk up your game and will lean on caution should you be terrible at golf. Not sure how helpful he would be should you actually be able to play.

Reading Greens: Knows his stuff for a young blood, reads well and will give a left right and speed recommendation. I found him great, especially on the giant Old Mac greens. 

Propensity to drink: if you offer him a drink, 10 times out of 10 he will take it. Let’s call it ‘social’. At some time he might realize he is getting a bit drunk and also a bit less useful, and he will gracefully slow himself down. 

To be honest, it was the first time that i had broken 100 when Cody had my back and so i’m thankful for that, and with all of the ego-stroking i’m likely to look for him again as he is probably a good fit for someone of low ability. I’m sure he is a great golfer himself, but you won’t get the best value out of Cody if you don’t get a seasoned pro to also join your group, just so you can see how much they totally ignore him. It’s worth the price of admission. 

Leave a Reply