Soapy Titties

Where golf friends share

Connoisseurs Golf Transportation

OK, so we get off the plane, all giddy about golf, like a group of late 30’s schoolgirls (picture that for a minute, then think about something else). Actually, let me linger on that for a minute, late 30’s schoolgirls. Your tits are too saggy, but you’re still wearing a traning bra, so they’re spilling out and they’re soft, nipples a bit bigger than they should be, kind of swollen, also you’re wearing a SCHOOLGIRLS UNIFORM but you’re either super skinny and got some skin sag or you’ve plumped up and your uniform is too tight. Anyway, i digress, lets move on. We were excited, but in a good way, not in this way.

We pile into the bus, it’s plush, it’s cold outside and it’s warm inside, it’s welcoming, it feels like a place a tour professional could really get some thinking time done in, slip on your Beats headphones and listen to some seriously motivational Shakira on the way to your third Ryder cup. When everyone is on the bus and we’re settled in we hear 2 beautiful things:

The First

“Beer or Booze”, it was a sweet sound, and one that we appreciated. All we needed was beer, we had booze on the way. So we stopped and grabbed a couple of cases of reasoinably-priced beer for a late night stop off, and we were on our way.

The second

Tin Cup or Caddyshack. This was like music to our ears. I personally, had no idea that this bus service was sympathetic to golfers, but i also didn’t know it was called Connoisseurs GOLF Transportation. So it makes more sense now, but still, come one, that’s a classy call. We chose Caddyshack (because we are a bunch of idiot jokers) and then we stopped for beer. We got through about 40 minutes of the movie before we got the to resort. Someone should make a 40 minute golf film, maybe it will be us this year. We always had an idea for a dude golf film called ‘the back nine’, but that’s a different story #nohomo.


Connoisseurs Golf Transportation = A+